When is enough, enough?
Bench Questions #05: When is enough, enough?
Wabi Sabi is the perfection of the imperfection that you find in traditional Japanese aesthetics – but it goes so much further than that.
My life story has been about the search for recognition and inclusion. All I ever wanted was to be ‘wanted’. All I wanted was to be ‘enough’.
When I turned 17 I ran away from home hitch hiking 200 km, crossing the country from one side to the other. Belgium is that small 😂. And during this adventure, all I could think of was ‘nothing worse than what happened to me those last 7 years can happen today’. And I arrived at my destination, safely.
Funny is the duality of the journey. I remember the drivers putting away their wallets and belongings when they pulled over and invited me for the ride. They wanted the same thing: be safe and stay safe.
Ultimately – we all want the same thing: happiness, harmony, abundance, respect, recognition.
The years that followed were years where I tried to prove ‘them wrong’:
2 university degrees to prove I was smart after all
a well-paid job with company car to show I was capable of making a good living on my own (and buy cheese and ham for my sandwiches, which was a sign of a good living according to one of my care takers)
a nice job title to show I ‘was somebody to be respected’
dancing on every table and stage I could find at every party to prove I could dance
But… the recognition from the non-believers remained unchanged. And I learned something very important:
no company, no manager, no job title, no money will ever replace the lack of recognition and inclusion your family and/or caretakers were not able to give you
enough is enough only when you accept that enough is enough
if we love ourselves the way we are, we no longer enslave ourselves to the desire to be loved by others
if others still trigger doubts on your best intentions, it usually says more about their truth then it says about ‘the truth’ – the truth is always seen through the eyes of the perceiver, therefore always coloured with personal (sometimes limiting) beliefs
we cannot be happy without understanding unhappiness
We are human. We make mistakes. We need this in order to understand right from wrong. We need darkness to see light. We need sickness to understand health. We need pain to understand love. We need opposites to understand harmony.
Therefor: I love myself unconditionally and accept my quirks. I don’t need to be more or less than I am. I am enough.
Bench moment #05
Do you love your imperfections?
If not, find your story, and figure out the lessons of your rock bottom moments, the ones that transformed you and brought you to the next level.
Be grateful.
Be enough.
Wabi Sabi.
🙏 Namasté 🙏
